• Ashley Hart

How Social Media Can Be Toxic.

Whats the first thing you do when you wake up? Its 2019 and whether it is easy to admit or not, you most likely grab your phone and open up Instagram. Tell me if I am wrong.

When you post something that is powerful to you, or push yourself out of your comfort zone do you have the fear that someone in your family or old friends may judge you? Do you find you feel the most support from complete strangers rather than your own circle? Why is that?

It is so tough to not compare yourself and your life to these accounts you follow with perfect hair, perfect bodies, the perfect house and perfect husbands when it comes to being a woman and you ask yourself, how is it so easy for them? Let me fill you in on something..... It is not.

Instagram is a highlight reel, a place we can come for an escape, to post the 1 photo out of 40 that we picked apart and edited to fit our "aesthetic." What you don't see is the scatter of mess we push aside to get that "perfect" photo, or the fight we just had with our spouse about who's turn it is to put the dishes away and then post a photo of us displaying our undying love for each other... (sound familiar).? Don't get me wrong its also a place that I have been so lucky to have built a successful community, and start my own business in the past year that I decided to go for it. But it is a rare occasion that I am posting a photo that I feel I look terrible in or doesn't fit my theme or order on my page.

This is something I am working on changing. I feel like I do a good job of showing up on my stories unfiltered and raw when it has been a tough week and I just need to vent, but I want to take it further. I want to create a community of women who feel empowered to be their authentic messy selves or what makes them happy and feel open about anything they may want to discuss unfiltered.

I believe it can be very easy to think you know someone. Even if you have not seen this person in years, or maybe you have only met them on social media and you have this perception of who they are but never truly have taken the time to get to know them to their core. What sets their soul on fire? What connects you to them? People grow, people change and reinvent themselves. By no means am I the same person I was when I was 18 years old let alone 25.... Motherhood changed me the most- and I am changing and evolving more and more each day.

Which is what brought me to this blog post, I thought of my best advice to myself on how to get out of this negative head space of being afraid to put yourself out there from fear of being judged or made fun of by the people who have known you in the past.

I have struggled with this the past few months and I have learned the most effective thing to do was to take a step back and breathe...refocus on what is important and that social media can shut down tomorrow and the world would be just fine. But in the mean time...

Here are my top 5 tips on removing the toxicity from your social media:

1. Unfollow any accounts that make you feel bad about yourself when you see a post.

2. Don't be afraid to push yourself to a new boundary, it is your social media and you are in charge of what you post and what you choose to see (Despite what people may think of you for it.)

3. Be genuine with who takes the time to comment on your photos or message you directly, always take the time to show up for them the way they have for you.

4. Don't take it personal when someone unfollows you, that is their choice and quality is much more valuable than quantity of followers.

5. Follow accounts that are similar to yours, that bring you happiness and that you find you relate to. (This is how you find your community.)

One more thing, you never know what someone may be going through so always remember to try and give them grace and have an open mind to what could be happening behind those tiny squares of "perfection."

Hope you guys enjoyed this topic- it has been on my mind for the last week or so and I wanted to share my thoughts on it.

Talk Soon,


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